little things

Ok so lately i know have been neglecting my blogger family and i want to say sorry but a lot has been going on.

But any way. Thanks guy asked me i want to know what makes you the woman that you are. And honestly i was a little baffled by the question because I didn't know how to answer it. So that got me to thinking about what really makers me the woman that i am.

So tonight or even when while I'm there i will guys know what i think makers me a real woman. Maybe you guys can tell me what makes you a real woman. Because we're all different.we have different talents and personalities and different style.

That's all for now. Be blessed

Lifes A B*tch!

ALL I NEED IS ONE MIC TO TELL 
THIS COUNTRY WHATS REALLY GOING ON 
THIS WORLD IS SO FUCKED UPPED RITE NOW 
THERE ARE SO MANY BLACK ON BLACK CRIMES 
SO MANY OVER WIEGHT PEOPLE 
THERE ARE PREGNANT TEENS OUT THE ASS. 
TEENAGE BOY OUT HERE ON THE CORNER SELLING DRUGS 
HELL THERE ARE EVEN PEOPLE A SHAMED TO BE BLACK 
I MEAN WHY IN THE HELL DO WE HAVE FUCCKING GANGS 
I DNT UNDERSTAND THAT SHIT MYSELF. 
THESE BLOODZ AND CRIPS SHOOTING EACH OTHER CAUSE 
OF WHAT COLOR THEY WEARING... 
NIGGAS COMING AT FEMALE WITH NO KINDA OF RESPECT 
FIRST WORDS OUT THEY MOUTH IS HEY SEXY 
SECOND WORDS OUT THE MOUTH IS BABY YOU A FREAK 
LAST WORD OUT THE MOUTH IS LET ME GET THAT NUMBER 
HA AND LADIES AINT NO BETTER 
WEARING HOE ASS CLOTHES TO GET A GUYS ATTENTION 
THEN GET MAD CAUSE HE TREATING YOU LIKE YOU SOME KIND OF HO 
OH LIKE YOU DIDN'T GIVE HIM A REASON TO BELIEVE OTHER WISE 
WHY ARE FEMALE SO QUICK TO PUT DOWN ANOTHER FEMALE HUH? 
I DON'T GET THAT SHIT EITHER. 
YOU WALK AROUND DESTROING ANOTHER GIRL SELF ESTEEM CAUSE 
YOURS IS IN SHATTERED PIECES. 
MAN I DNT EVEN THINK I COULD HAVE A KID IN THIS WORLD. 
I MEAN EVER OTHER COMMERCIAL IS TELLING THE WORLD TO GET IN SHAPE 
OR THAT 1 IN 4 TEEN WILL GET AN STD 
OR 1 IN 5 WILL BECOME A PREGO IN HIGH SCHOOL 
EVERY WERE YOU TURN THEY SELLING SEX. 
I HONESTLY THINK HIP-HOP IS DEAD 
IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS BACK IN THE DAY B4 I WAS EVEN THAUGHT OF. 
EVERY RAP SONG IS ABOUT WEED,SEX,MONEY,KILLING 
I MEAN IS THAT ALL THEY CAN RAP ABOUT. 
SOME OF THESE NEW ARTIST NEED TO YOUTBE N.W.A, PUBLIC ENEMIE, 
SLICK RICK, SPECIAL ED ALL THE GREATS, HELL EVEN QUEEN LATIFA, MC LYTE, MOS DEFF MAN THEN YOU HAVE THESE YOUNG GIRLS GOING THROUGH IT
MEDIA HAS THEM THINKING THAT IF THEIR NOT A SIZE 2 OR HAVE A BIG BUTT LIKE NICKI MINJA 
THAT THEY AINT SHIT.
KIDS GETTING BULLED IF THEY DRESS A CERTAIN WAY OR IF THEIR GAY.(WHO GIVES A FUCK )
GOT GROWN ASS MEN OUT  HERE TRYING TO FUCK LITTLE GIRLS AND BOYS
MOTHERS BEATING THEIR KIDS OUT OF ANGER CAUSE THEIR DADS WALK OUT EM
GOT PEOPLE SO DAMN LAZY THAT THEY RELY ON THE GOVERNMENT TO TAKE CARE OF THEY ASS FOR LIFE
THE REASONS WHY THEY HAVE SO MANY KIDS, OR THE FACT THAT THEIR OVER WEIGHT TO THEY
CAN SAY THEIR NO ABLE TO WORK AND THEY GET THAT SSR CHECK. 
GOT 9 -14 YR OLDS OUT HERE FUCKING AND SUCKING...
WHY ARENT THEY SOME WHERE RIDING A BIKE OR PLAYING TAG
I BLAME PARENTS ON THAT
GOT KIDS DISRESPECTING THEIR PARENTS
BACK IN THE DAY THAT WAS AN ASS BEATING AND EVERYTHING TAKING AWAY
NO FUN FOR YOUR ASS LOL
LIFES A BITCH AND SHE TAKES NO PRISONERS
EVENTUALLY EVERY ONE GETS FUCKED BY HER 

That's All Folks.<3

Confessions #1

             I know i havent been keeping up with my updates like i had promised. And im so sorry for that. I just been really busy with work and alot on my mind.

           Well tonight im going to talk my head off until i dnt have anything left in my brain.So buckle up.
Well for starters My one of my closest guy friends calls me and we literally i had talked to him for like a good 10 mins befor mt bestie/sister calls. So i clicked over and told her i was on the phone with him and what not and she goes hmmmmmm im searching for a word. Ummm lets go with loca yea she went loca on me.
            Granted we haven't scratch that I haven't talked to him in a good 2 months her on the other hand haven't talk to him in a few weeks to a months. Apparently she talked to him via him calling her from his grandmas or moms and what not. well anyway i three way her in and we're all talking for a moment and then they get to talking to each other and i feel like the third wheel so i put my phone down and write poems, get on tumblr,or on here and just write or troll till i dont want to listen any more.
              And the only time they notice im even gone is when they realize their the only ones talking and i get annoyed  cause it's like wtf i haven't said shit in like 30 mins NOW you want to say shit me ugh! And they go back to their two convos after i yell out that im still there.
              I barely get to talk to him alone. I just dnt know maybe i'm just being spoiled brat and mad that the attention not on me. Or maybe it's the fact that she has feelings for him and i feel the connection and i see her need to always talk to him no matter what. Or maybe i'm being a Bitch for no reason. I just don't really know how i'm feeling I just dnt want to be the third wheel i hate being the third wheel and that's what i felt like. It was hella awkward
            Then i get a lot of bs from friends saying i get all the guys and that it's cause im light skinned or mixed and everything else and it makes me mad because if they knew what i was really going through with my self they wouldn't say those things. I just have this big brick wall in front of me at all times.i've never shared my all with someone and it terrifys me because i'm scared i'll show weakness, and that people will take advantage of me again. Because honestly im a real sweetheart with a cold rock for a heart.
         Sometimes i wish i could go back in time and change how i lived my life like if i would have been studious or was more active when i was younger i wouldn't have trouble with my weight or self-esteem i wounder if i would have stayed clear from the wannabe bad boys would i trust guys more and take a chance with the right ones.I wounder if i actually gave a fuck in high school would i be in a top ten college or in an Ivy league college.
         There are so many layers to me that people just don't know  i guess im start using this as my confessional

Thats all folks <3