Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
little things
Ok so lately i know have been neglecting my blogger family and i want to say sorry but a lot has been going on.
But any way. Thanks guy asked me i want to know what makes you the woman that you are. And honestly i was a little baffled by the question because I didn't know how to answer it. So that got me to thinking about what really makers me the woman that i am.
So tonight or even when while I'm there i will guys know what i think makers me a real woman. Maybe you guys can tell me what makes you a real woman. Because we're all different.we have different talents and personalities and different style.
That's all for now. Be blessed
But any way. Thanks guy asked me i want to know what makes you the woman that you are. And honestly i was a little baffled by the question because I didn't know how to answer it. So that got me to thinking about what really makers me the woman that i am.
So tonight or even when while I'm there i will guys know what i think makers me a real woman. Maybe you guys can tell me what makes you a real woman. Because we're all different.we have different talents and personalities and different style.
That's all for now. Be blessed
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Lifes A B*tch!
ALL I NEED IS ONE MIC TO TELL
THIS COUNTRY WHATS REALLY GOING ON
THIS WORLD IS SO FUCKED UPPED RITE NOW
THERE ARE SO MANY BLACK ON BLACK CRIMES
SO MANY OVER WIEGHT PEOPLE
THERE ARE PREGNANT TEENS OUT THE ASS.
TEENAGE BOY OUT HERE ON THE CORNER SELLING DRUGS
HELL THERE ARE EVEN PEOPLE A SHAMED TO BE BLACK
I MEAN WHY IN THE HELL DO WE HAVE FUCCKING GANGS
I DNT UNDERSTAND THAT SHIT MYSELF.
THESE BLOODZ AND CRIPS SHOOTING EACH OTHER CAUSE
OF WHAT COLOR THEY WEARING...
NIGGAS COMING AT FEMALE WITH NO KINDA OF RESPECT
FIRST WORDS OUT THEY MOUTH IS HEY SEXY
SECOND WORDS OUT THE MOUTH IS BABY YOU A FREAK
LAST WORD OUT THE MOUTH IS LET ME GET THAT NUMBER
HA AND LADIES AINT NO BETTER
WEARING HOE ASS CLOTHES TO GET A GUYS ATTENTION
THEN GET MAD CAUSE HE TREATING YOU LIKE YOU SOME KIND OF HO
OH LIKE YOU DIDN'T GIVE HIM A REASON TO BELIEVE OTHER WISE
WHY ARE FEMALE SO QUICK TO PUT DOWN ANOTHER FEMALE HUH?
I DON'T GET THAT SHIT EITHER.
YOU WALK AROUND DESTROING ANOTHER GIRL SELF ESTEEM CAUSE
YOURS IS IN SHATTERED PIECES.
MAN I DNT EVEN THINK I COULD HAVE A KID IN THIS WORLD.
I MEAN EVER OTHER COMMERCIAL IS TELLING THE WORLD TO GET IN SHAPE
OR THAT 1 IN 4 TEEN WILL GET AN STD
OR 1 IN 5 WILL BECOME A PREGO IN HIGH SCHOOL
EVERY WERE YOU TURN THEY SELLING SEX.
I HONESTLY THINK HIP-HOP IS DEAD
IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS BACK IN THE DAY B4 I WAS EVEN THAUGHT OF.
EVERY RAP SONG IS ABOUT WEED,SEX,MONEY,KILLING
I MEAN IS THAT ALL THEY CAN RAP ABOUT.
SOME OF THESE NEW ARTIST NEED TO YOUTBE N.W.A, PUBLIC ENEMIE,
SLICK RICK, SPECIAL ED ALL THE GREATS, HELL EVEN QUEEN LATIFA, MC LYTE, MOS DEFF MAN THEN YOU HAVE THESE YOUNG GIRLS GOING THROUGH IT
MEDIA HAS THEM THINKING THAT IF THEIR NOT A SIZE 2 OR HAVE A BIG BUTT LIKE NICKI MINJA
THAT THEY AINT SHIT.
KIDS GETTING BULLED IF THEY DRESS A CERTAIN WAY OR IF THEIR GAY.(WHO GIVES A FUCK )
GOT GROWN ASS MEN OUT HERE TRYING TO FUCK LITTLE GIRLS AND BOYS
MOTHERS BEATING THEIR KIDS OUT OF ANGER CAUSE THEIR DADS WALK OUT EM
GOT PEOPLE SO DAMN LAZY THAT THEY RELY ON THE GOVERNMENT TO TAKE CARE OF THEY ASS FOR LIFE
THE REASONS WHY THEY HAVE SO MANY KIDS, OR THE FACT THAT THEIR OVER WEIGHT TO THEY
CAN SAY THEIR NO ABLE TO WORK AND THEY GET THAT SSR CHECK.
GOT 9 -14 YR OLDS OUT HERE FUCKING AND SUCKING...
WHY ARENT THEY SOME WHERE RIDING A BIKE OR PLAYING TAG
I BLAME PARENTS ON THAT
GOT KIDS DISRESPECTING THEIR PARENTS
BACK IN THE DAY THAT WAS AN ASS BEATING AND EVERYTHING TAKING AWAY
NO FUN FOR YOUR ASS LOL
LIFES A BITCH AND SHE TAKES NO PRISONERS
EVENTUALLY EVERY ONE GETS FUCKED BY HER
THIS COUNTRY WHATS REALLY GOING ON
THIS WORLD IS SO FUCKED UPPED RITE NOW
THERE ARE SO MANY BLACK ON BLACK CRIMES
SO MANY OVER WIEGHT PEOPLE
THERE ARE PREGNANT TEENS OUT THE ASS.
TEENAGE BOY OUT HERE ON THE CORNER SELLING DRUGS
HELL THERE ARE EVEN PEOPLE A SHAMED TO BE BLACK
I MEAN WHY IN THE HELL DO WE HAVE FUCCKING GANGS
I DNT UNDERSTAND THAT SHIT MYSELF.
THESE BLOODZ AND CRIPS SHOOTING EACH OTHER CAUSE
OF WHAT COLOR THEY WEARING...
NIGGAS COMING AT FEMALE WITH NO KINDA OF RESPECT
FIRST WORDS OUT THEY MOUTH IS HEY SEXY
SECOND WORDS OUT THE MOUTH IS BABY YOU A FREAK
LAST WORD OUT THE MOUTH IS LET ME GET THAT NUMBER
HA AND LADIES AINT NO BETTER
WEARING HOE ASS CLOTHES TO GET A GUYS ATTENTION
THEN GET MAD CAUSE HE TREATING YOU LIKE YOU SOME KIND OF HO
OH LIKE YOU DIDN'T GIVE HIM A REASON TO BELIEVE OTHER WISE
WHY ARE FEMALE SO QUICK TO PUT DOWN ANOTHER FEMALE HUH?
I DON'T GET THAT SHIT EITHER.
YOU WALK AROUND DESTROING ANOTHER GIRL SELF ESTEEM CAUSE
YOURS IS IN SHATTERED PIECES.
MAN I DNT EVEN THINK I COULD HAVE A KID IN THIS WORLD.
I MEAN EVER OTHER COMMERCIAL IS TELLING THE WORLD TO GET IN SHAPE
OR THAT 1 IN 4 TEEN WILL GET AN STD
OR 1 IN 5 WILL BECOME A PREGO IN HIGH SCHOOL
EVERY WERE YOU TURN THEY SELLING SEX.
I HONESTLY THINK HIP-HOP IS DEAD
IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS BACK IN THE DAY B4 I WAS EVEN THAUGHT OF.
EVERY RAP SONG IS ABOUT WEED,SEX,MONEY,KILLING
I MEAN IS THAT ALL THEY CAN RAP ABOUT.
SOME OF THESE NEW ARTIST NEED TO YOUTBE N.W.A, PUBLIC ENEMIE,
SLICK RICK, SPECIAL ED ALL THE GREATS, HELL EVEN QUEEN LATIFA, MC LYTE, MOS DEFF MAN THEN YOU HAVE THESE YOUNG GIRLS GOING THROUGH IT
MEDIA HAS THEM THINKING THAT IF THEIR NOT A SIZE 2 OR HAVE A BIG BUTT LIKE NICKI MINJA
THAT THEY AINT SHIT.
KIDS GETTING BULLED IF THEY DRESS A CERTAIN WAY OR IF THEIR GAY.(WHO GIVES A FUCK )
GOT GROWN ASS MEN OUT HERE TRYING TO FUCK LITTLE GIRLS AND BOYS
MOTHERS BEATING THEIR KIDS OUT OF ANGER CAUSE THEIR DADS WALK OUT EM
GOT PEOPLE SO DAMN LAZY THAT THEY RELY ON THE GOVERNMENT TO TAKE CARE OF THEY ASS FOR LIFE
THE REASONS WHY THEY HAVE SO MANY KIDS, OR THE FACT THAT THEIR OVER WEIGHT TO THEY
CAN SAY THEIR NO ABLE TO WORK AND THEY GET THAT SSR CHECK.
GOT 9 -14 YR OLDS OUT HERE FUCKING AND SUCKING...
WHY ARENT THEY SOME WHERE RIDING A BIKE OR PLAYING TAG
I BLAME PARENTS ON THAT
GOT KIDS DISRESPECTING THEIR PARENTS
BACK IN THE DAY THAT WAS AN ASS BEATING AND EVERYTHING TAKING AWAY
NO FUN FOR YOUR ASS LOL
LIFES A BITCH AND SHE TAKES NO PRISONERS
EVENTUALLY EVERY ONE GETS FUCKED BY HER
That's All Folks.<3
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Confessions #1
I know i havent been keeping up with my updates like i had promised. And im so sorry for that. I just been really busy with work and alot on my mind.
Well tonight im going to talk my head off until i dnt have anything left in my brain.So buckle up.
Well for starters My one of my closest guy friends calls me and we literally i had talked to him for like a good 10 mins befor mt bestie/sister calls. So i clicked over and told her i was on the phone with him and what not and she goes hmmmmmm im searching for a word. Ummm lets go with loca yea she went loca on me.
Granted we haven't scratch that I haven't talked to him in a good 2 months her on the other hand haven't talk to him in a few weeks to a months. Apparently she talked to him via him calling her from his grandmas or moms and what not. well anyway i three way her in and we're all talking for a moment and then they get to talking to each other and i feel like the third wheel so i put my phone down and write poems, get on tumblr,or on here and just write or troll till i dont want to listen any more.
And the only time they notice im even gone is when they realize their the only ones talking and i get annoyed cause it's like wtf i haven't said shit in like 30 mins NOW you want to say shit me ugh! And they go back to their two convos after i yell out that im still there.
I barely get to talk to him alone. I just dnt know maybe i'm just being spoiled brat and mad that the attention not on me. Or maybe it's the fact that she has feelings for him and i feel the connection and i see her need to always talk to him no matter what. Or maybe i'm being a Bitch for no reason. I just don't really know how i'm feeling I just dnt want to be the third wheel i hate being the third wheel and that's what i felt like. It was hella awkward
Then i get a lot of bs from friends saying i get all the guys and that it's cause im light skinned or mixed and everything else and it makes me mad because if they knew what i was really going through with my self they wouldn't say those things. I just have this big brick wall in front of me at all times.i've never shared my all with someone and it terrifys me because i'm scared i'll show weakness, and that people will take advantage of me again. Because honestly im a real sweetheart with a cold rock for a heart.
Sometimes i wish i could go back in time and change how i lived my life like if i would have been studious or was more active when i was younger i wouldn't have trouble with my weight or self-esteem i wounder if i would have stayed clear from the wannabe bad boys would i trust guys more and take a chance with the right ones.I wounder if i actually gave a fuck in high school would i be in a top ten college or in an Ivy league college.
There are so many layers to me that people just don't know i guess im start using this as my confessional
Well tonight im going to talk my head off until i dnt have anything left in my brain.So buckle up.
Well for starters My one of my closest guy friends calls me and we literally i had talked to him for like a good 10 mins befor mt bestie/sister calls. So i clicked over and told her i was on the phone with him and what not and she goes hmmmmmm im searching for a word. Ummm lets go with loca yea she went loca on me.
Granted we haven't scratch that I haven't talked to him in a good 2 months her on the other hand haven't talk to him in a few weeks to a months. Apparently she talked to him via him calling her from his grandmas or moms and what not. well anyway i three way her in and we're all talking for a moment and then they get to talking to each other and i feel like the third wheel so i put my phone down and write poems, get on tumblr,or on here and just write or troll till i dont want to listen any more.
And the only time they notice im even gone is when they realize their the only ones talking and i get annoyed cause it's like wtf i haven't said shit in like 30 mins NOW you want to say shit me ugh! And they go back to their two convos after i yell out that im still there.
I barely get to talk to him alone. I just dnt know maybe i'm just being spoiled brat and mad that the attention not on me. Or maybe it's the fact that she has feelings for him and i feel the connection and i see her need to always talk to him no matter what. Or maybe i'm being a Bitch for no reason. I just don't really know how i'm feeling I just dnt want to be the third wheel i hate being the third wheel and that's what i felt like. It was hella awkward
Then i get a lot of bs from friends saying i get all the guys and that it's cause im light skinned or mixed and everything else and it makes me mad because if they knew what i was really going through with my self they wouldn't say those things. I just have this big brick wall in front of me at all times.i've never shared my all with someone and it terrifys me because i'm scared i'll show weakness, and that people will take advantage of me again. Because honestly im a real sweetheart with a cold rock for a heart.
Sometimes i wish i could go back in time and change how i lived my life like if i would have been studious or was more active when i was younger i wouldn't have trouble with my weight or self-esteem i wounder if i would have stayed clear from the wannabe bad boys would i trust guys more and take a chance with the right ones.I wounder if i actually gave a fuck in high school would i be in a top ten college or in an Ivy league college.
There are so many layers to me that people just don't know i guess im start using this as my confessional
Thats all folks <3
Friday, August 3, 2012
Get To Know Me Thursday!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
It's August!
It's the first of August 1st.
Ok now that i have my own computer I can start updating more.
* For starters i'm going to start doing my current wants again.
* Make a list of my achievements and goals for this month.
* I'm do something called Get to know me Thursday
* Story Sunday.
* Daily Night Caps.
* More pictures lol i promise :)
Well there's the update for August. I hope you guys stayed Tuned :)
Ok now that i have my own computer I can start updating more.
* For starters i'm going to start doing my current wants again.
* Make a list of my achievements and goals for this month.
* I'm do something called Get to know me Thursday
* Story Sunday.
* Daily Night Caps.
* More pictures lol i promise :)
Well there's the update for August. I hope you guys stayed Tuned :)
Stay Blessed And Beautiful Ladies and Gents XO <3
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Whaaaaaat?
One thing i don't understand now a days is Females. I listen to and hear all these girls calling their selves bitches. "I'm a bad BITCH, i'm a 5 star BITCH, I'm a top notch BITCH. I'm a cute BITCH, thick BITCH" but as soon as a guy call them a regular BITCH they want to get all dignified talking about I ain't no BITCH.
But hold on a second aren't you the same girl who was just yelling out you a bad BITCH. So it's ok if he calls you a bad BITCH. But it's like not ok if he calls you a regular BITCH. What the Fuck kind of shit is that. You making yourself the biggest walking contradiction.
That is like walking into a club with your left nipple showing a mini skirt on that shows everyone in the club that you don't have on any panties. And then have a sign on your back that says "I GIVE HEAD". Bu t you want to get mad at all the guys who keep coming up to you asking you if you want to go suck him real quick. You can't be trashy and classy it don't work like that.
If you want a guy to approach you like a lady then act like one it's not that fucking hard. You cant call yourself a bad BITCH and get mad when someone else calls you a plain BITCH.Once you call yourself it you giving everyone else the ok go sign. Don't dress like a ho and then get mad when you get approached like one. Ugh it just don't make no fucking sense.
Before i go i'm say this you know the saying treat want others to treat you. Trust me once you treat yourself like a Queen/King other will either respect you or hate on you. If they hatting then just laugh cause no one and i mean no ONE can judge you or take away your happiness so live for you. Fuck YOLO.
Stay Beautiful Ladies And Gents XO <3
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Friendship code!
Like I've stated in a previous post. It's only ok to date your bestfriend ex only if their cool with it and are really cool with. Not just saying their cool with it just so they don't sound like a Bitch. Well i recently just found out that one of my close friends really likes one of the guys i used to talk to and messed with.
Heres the thing we are all friends and he has always felt so comfortable telling her alot of the problems that he's faceing and they have always been like that.But when she told me that she really is feeling him i was shocked i couldn't believe at first and i was low key mad but i didn't show it.Or at least i don't think i showed it lol. Any way after listening to her and hearing what she had to say and what her heart and mind was going through. I gave my concent.
I felt that he is actually closer to her than me and i believe that if they ever got together they would have a long lasting relationship. Where as if we tried to rekindle the fire i think it would more of a fling. Me and him were more sextually attacted to each other than anything else. So i gave her my concent and i honestly and truly hope that if they become as one that they last as long as they can. Cause i just know that their personalities will clash here and there lol.
I'm end this by saying if your friend or you like one anothers past partners (Sounds so corny lol) any way of you know that they would last as a relationship and with you it would be a fling. just go ahead and give your concent cause you don't want to be the friend who let their best friend miss out on a great thing for them because you all but hurt. Do the right thing.
Heres the thing we are all friends and he has always felt so comfortable telling her alot of the problems that he's faceing and they have always been like that.But when she told me that she really is feeling him i was shocked i couldn't believe at first and i was low key mad but i didn't show it.Or at least i don't think i showed it lol. Any way after listening to her and hearing what she had to say and what her heart and mind was going through. I gave my concent.
I felt that he is actually closer to her than me and i believe that if they ever got together they would have a long lasting relationship. Where as if we tried to rekindle the fire i think it would more of a fling. Me and him were more sextually attacted to each other than anything else. So i gave her my concent and i honestly and truly hope that if they become as one that they last as long as they can. Cause i just know that their personalities will clash here and there lol.
I'm end this by saying if your friend or you like one anothers past partners (Sounds so corny lol) any way of you know that they would last as a relationship and with you it would be a fling. just go ahead and give your concent cause you don't want to be the friend who let their best friend miss out on a great thing for them because you all but hurt. Do the right thing.
Stay Blessed and Beautiful Ladies and Gents XO<3
It's Thursday !
Ok so i;m still dealing with the problem i had recently told you guys about..I've talk to a few close friends who i believe i can trust. Everyones telling me to go for it. And trust i want to go for it i just don't want to feel gulity after the matter. The last thing i want to do is hurt my friend, cause i know for a fact that she still has some kind of feelings for him. But as the saying goes , "Opportunity is only gone to knock so many times till it says fuck you then " I added that last part lol but still it stands strong am i right or wrong ?
Well i think i'm going to play it like this if something start to happen I'll let her know. Cause right now me and this guy are really good friends and have been since middle school. And we're hanging out as such. So i don't think theres any reason start possible drama over anything that's not set in stone. On that note i'm going to end with happy Thursday! lol yea i know i'm a little off
Well i think i'm going to play it like this if something start to happen I'll let her know. Cause right now me and this guy are really good friends and have been since middle school. And we're hanging out as such. So i don't think theres any reason start possible drama over anything that's not set in stone. On that note i'm going to end with happy Thursday! lol yea i know i'm a little off
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Is it Crossing the line
Ok so i must start by saying that so far this summer has been the best.I'm working i have my own money i'll be driving by the time fall gets here. And i have the best fucking friends around.
But when is it crossing the line with friends. and when is it just childish. We all know the written rule that you are not aloud to date your bff's ex unless you ask if it's ok and then it's still like a death trap ready to explode. The girl code is stamped in our DNA and if your break a rule your officially branded the horrible friend who hurt her best friend. Now she can't trust you and start telling rumors about you so no one trust you. Yea being a girl suck ass.
Well check this our there is this guy who i went to school with. He's honestly a great catch i've always tought so.He has his head on his shoulders he silly and loves to play around. and he knows how to treat a gril and is the total gentelman. he's the total package right. I've had the oppertunity countless times in high school to date this guy. But i always said no because he had dated two of my best friends.
Now were out of high school and the oppurnuity has knocked on the door again. And i really don;t want to miss out on a geat guy just because he dated my friends i talked to one of them about it and shes perfectly ok with because for one it was so long ago and she only long ago. Now my other friend i don't even know how i'm tell hell if ican even tell her.
I don't want to be selfish and say idgaf i'm try and get with him. on the other hand i think i deserve the chance to see were it could go and i think my friend should understand. And then i could not say nothing and just let another chance and miss out on something that could be great for me just because i don't want to hurt my friends feelings.......
But when is it crossing the line with friends. and when is it just childish. We all know the written rule that you are not aloud to date your bff's ex unless you ask if it's ok and then it's still like a death trap ready to explode. The girl code is stamped in our DNA and if your break a rule your officially branded the horrible friend who hurt her best friend. Now she can't trust you and start telling rumors about you so no one trust you. Yea being a girl suck ass.
Well check this our there is this guy who i went to school with. He's honestly a great catch i've always tought so.He has his head on his shoulders he silly and loves to play around. and he knows how to treat a gril and is the total gentelman. he's the total package right. I've had the oppertunity countless times in high school to date this guy. But i always said no because he had dated two of my best friends.
Now were out of high school and the oppurnuity has knocked on the door again. And i really don;t want to miss out on a geat guy just because he dated my friends i talked to one of them about it and shes perfectly ok with because for one it was so long ago and she only long ago. Now my other friend i don't even know how i'm tell hell if ican even tell her.
I don't want to be selfish and say idgaf i'm try and get with him. on the other hand i think i deserve the chance to see were it could go and i think my friend should understand. And then i could not say nothing and just let another chance and miss out on something that could be great for me just because i don't want to hurt my friends feelings.......
Stay beautiful Ladies and Gents XO <3
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Elks Weekend
So every yr around this time our little shitty city has this bock party type of thing that last all weekend like each day is something different like Friday is the kinda like the kick off start. Saturday is when everyone come together and cook and make little dinner and party all night long. And Sunday they have a drill team competition.
Well last night me and my homie Chels went and we got fucked up. i mean just shot after shot after shot. I was feeling to good. and then my long lost friend wants to hang out. so i hang out with him and shit catching up on things. He tells me that his girl be bugging and that he trying to break it off slow. ect.
But he was a sweet and walked me home and made sure i got in the house safe. He really just mad it hard for me.lol but i'm leave him alone because he has a gf and i respect that. I don't like it but i respect it.
That's really all i have for today so far....Oh and he came over this morning and made me breakfast...i felt special he said it was my late birthday gift since i wouldn't let him get what he really wanted. but yeah all smiles this way i'm glad i have me friend back....and happy that we are at least friends.
Well last night me and my homie Chels went and we got fucked up. i mean just shot after shot after shot. I was feeling to good. and then my long lost friend wants to hang out. so i hang out with him and shit catching up on things. He tells me that his girl be bugging and that he trying to break it off slow. ect.
But he was a sweet and walked me home and made sure i got in the house safe. He really just mad it hard for me.lol but i'm leave him alone because he has a gf and i respect that. I don't like it but i respect it.
That's really all i have for today so far....Oh and he came over this morning and made me breakfast...i felt special he said it was my late birthday gift since i wouldn't let him get what he really wanted. but yeah all smiles this way i'm glad i have me friend back....and happy that we are at least friends.
Stay Blessed and Beautiful Ladies and Gents XO <3
Friday, July 13, 2012
Realization.
I know i know it's been awhile since i've shown my face but that's all going to change after today.....
I'm just going to jump right into it. As some of ya'll already know i was in a 5yr relationship with my no current Ex boyfriend _________. Let me just say that he is a great guy deep down inside himself and he was and for ever be my first love. But he will not me the last.
Through our entire relationship it has been more bad times then there are good and one day i woke up and finally realized that. How he was treating me and acted towards me was not the way i wanted to be treated. And i believed i held on to the hope for to long thinking that he would change. I feel in that stigma that women stay with the bad ones because they think or hope they will change.
I'm about to go into detail about our relationship. If your going to judge or criticize me then i suggest you leave my blog at this moment because there is only one person who has the right to judge me and that is my creator.
It all started back in 2007 when we first got together and that was Christmas day. Believe it or not that was the best present i could have ever gotten that year.... Yea yea yea i know i'm a hopeless romantic ha. But everything was good until his games started and his true colors started shining like new money. He began to cheat on me with other girls. If it was any other guy his ass would have been dissed and i would have gotten his ass back but with ______i just let the shit slide we broke and then eventually i took him back. Wy? because i felt that he really and truly loved me and because i was 14 and didn't know any better.
But as the years went on we broke up and got back together on and off and off and on. Well senior year came and we were like the couple to be when we got back together he walked me to my classes held my books my purse did little things like that. when i was sick he did everything to make me feel better. But one day it seemed like he snapped and i was dating a whole different person. He became very aggressive with me. If i said something he didn't like he got mad and called me names. Or if i didn't want to go somewhere with him he would push me. One day he actually slammed my wrist in the door. That's something i never really told any one.... But he told me that he didn't mean to do ti and i forgave him, Then the possessive shit started every time i didn't text him right back he would start saying i was cheating on him and that i didn't love him and all this other bullshit when in reality i doing something that needed my attention. This went own for about two months.
Then it happened something i swore would never happen. I was coming back to school after spending a week home being sick.... I was so happy i had just gotten paid and i was treating my friend Jaelle and her little sis to breakfast. My phone was fucking on some bullshit. It was allowing me send text but i couldn't receive them.Witch turned _______ into a mad man.....To make a long story short we ended up fight at school. I had a bruised eye a fractured finger and a spranged ankle.
You would think after this incident i would walk away but i didn't. I was one of those girls making excuses saying well i out my hands on him first so i was actual fight. I was telling people any and everything so they wouldn't think i was crazy. But the looks on their faces said other wise.
But i can stand here and tell you today that i'm no longer in a toxic relationship with _____.I have moved on and i'm not looking back. I refuse to let myself to ever go through that with anyone else and if your reading this and your in the same situation or know someone that is.Get out NOW! cause 9 times out of 10 i guy who puts his hands on you once will do it again with no problem or he'll threaten to. And don't think that it has to be physical it can be mental to .
Signs You Should Look For
1.Always telling what to and not wear (controlling)
2.Controls you over text
3.Threatens you
4.Calls you name Bitch,slut,hoe,fuck face,dumb ass, ugly
5.Claims your cheating because you haven't called or text him
6.Pushes you around and is very aggressive with you
7.Treats you like his property
8. He puts his hands on you intending to cause pain on you
If any of these apply to you please talk to someone about or get out of the relationship you deserve way better than that. And this goes for guys too!!!
I'm a stronger person because of it. And i'm way more wiser. My motto is never settle for less
I'm just going to jump right into it. As some of ya'll already know i was in a 5yr relationship with my no current Ex boyfriend _________. Let me just say that he is a great guy deep down inside himself and he was and for ever be my first love. But he will not me the last.
Through our entire relationship it has been more bad times then there are good and one day i woke up and finally realized that. How he was treating me and acted towards me was not the way i wanted to be treated. And i believed i held on to the hope for to long thinking that he would change. I feel in that stigma that women stay with the bad ones because they think or hope they will change.
I'm about to go into detail about our relationship. If your going to judge or criticize me then i suggest you leave my blog at this moment because there is only one person who has the right to judge me and that is my creator.
It all started back in 2007 when we first got together and that was Christmas day. Believe it or not that was the best present i could have ever gotten that year.... Yea yea yea i know i'm a hopeless romantic ha. But everything was good until his games started and his true colors started shining like new money. He began to cheat on me with other girls. If it was any other guy his ass would have been dissed and i would have gotten his ass back but with ______i just let the shit slide we broke and then eventually i took him back. Wy? because i felt that he really and truly loved me and because i was 14 and didn't know any better.
But as the years went on we broke up and got back together on and off and off and on. Well senior year came and we were like the couple to be when we got back together he walked me to my classes held my books my purse did little things like that. when i was sick he did everything to make me feel better. But one day it seemed like he snapped and i was dating a whole different person. He became very aggressive with me. If i said something he didn't like he got mad and called me names. Or if i didn't want to go somewhere with him he would push me. One day he actually slammed my wrist in the door. That's something i never really told any one.... But he told me that he didn't mean to do ti and i forgave him, Then the possessive shit started every time i didn't text him right back he would start saying i was cheating on him and that i didn't love him and all this other bullshit when in reality i doing something that needed my attention. This went own for about two months.
Then it happened something i swore would never happen. I was coming back to school after spending a week home being sick.... I was so happy i had just gotten paid and i was treating my friend Jaelle and her little sis to breakfast. My phone was fucking on some bullshit. It was allowing me send text but i couldn't receive them.Witch turned _______ into a mad man.....To make a long story short we ended up fight at school. I had a bruised eye a fractured finger and a spranged ankle.
You would think after this incident i would walk away but i didn't. I was one of those girls making excuses saying well i out my hands on him first so i was actual fight. I was telling people any and everything so they wouldn't think i was crazy. But the looks on their faces said other wise.
But i can stand here and tell you today that i'm no longer in a toxic relationship with _____.I have moved on and i'm not looking back. I refuse to let myself to ever go through that with anyone else and if your reading this and your in the same situation or know someone that is.Get out NOW! cause 9 times out of 10 i guy who puts his hands on you once will do it again with no problem or he'll threaten to. And don't think that it has to be physical it can be mental to .
Signs You Should Look For
1.Always telling what to and not wear (controlling)
2.Controls you over text
3.Threatens you
4.Calls you name Bitch,slut,hoe,fuck face,dumb ass, ugly
5.Claims your cheating because you haven't called or text him
6.Pushes you around and is very aggressive with you
7.Treats you like his property
8. He puts his hands on you intending to cause pain on you
If any of these apply to you please talk to someone about or get out of the relationship you deserve way better than that. And this goes for guys too!!!
I'm a stronger person because of it. And i'm way more wiser. My motto is never settle for less
Stay blessed and Beautiful Ladies and Gents xo <3
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Ghetto Name
I live in a place that many call a "HOME"
Get straight up pissed when they are taken away from their comfort "ZONE"
Some so filled with pain and feel so "ALONE"
keep to themselves they stay unbreakable they don't their hurt be "SHOWN"
But yet they show the anger they've hid within they let it be "KNOWN"
And the blood shed upon the white t's bless the homies, they now "GON"
GHETTO NAME...
A name i go by in the "STREETS"
I gotta be "HOOD" in order to lay down a few "BEATS???"
Got to have a "GHETTO NAME" to be able to be "HEARD" in order for you to listen to the words i so calmly "SPEAK"
And even tho i have a flow that will make you go "WEAK"
That's not what you care to "SEE"
I live in a neighborhood where cracks around the "BEND"
where the nike's and the jordan's hang in memories of our "FRIENDS"
where the tears have "SHED"
where the pain still lives and we bust our ass we gotta fam to get "FED"
And we walk with our heads to the sky smiling back at those who've we lost "INSTEAD"
Put flowers on the graves in memory of those who passed and we wont "FORGET"
GHETTO NAME...
A name i go by in the "STREETS"
I gotta be "HOOD" in order to lay down a few "BEATS???"
Got to have a "GHETTO NAME" to be able to be "HEARD" in order for you to listen to the words i so calmly "SPEAK"
And even tho i have a flow that will make you go "WEAK"
Thats not what you care to "SEE"
I must of missed the part where i had to have a poetical name to be "RESPECTED"
Its just a name but i have a new year "RESURECTION"
This game that's been played I've "INSPECTED"
Every dialog that's been written i have "DISECTED"
And i took a deep breath and took it all in and let it all "DIGEST"
And im not walking away this time; The pain i will no longer "NEGLECT"
GHETTO NAME...
A name i go by in the "STREETS"
I gotta be "HOOD" in order to lay down a few "BEATS???"
Got to have a "GHETTO NAME" to be able to be "HEARD" in order for you to listen to the words i so calmly "SPEAK"
And even tho i have a flow that will make you go "WEAK"
That's not what you care to "SEE
Get straight up pissed when they are taken away from their comfort "ZONE"
Some so filled with pain and feel so "ALONE"
keep to themselves they stay unbreakable they don't their hurt be "SHOWN"
But yet they show the anger they've hid within they let it be "KNOWN"
And the blood shed upon the white t's bless the homies, they now "GON"
GHETTO NAME...
A name i go by in the "STREETS"
I gotta be "HOOD" in order to lay down a few "BEATS???"
Got to have a "GHETTO NAME" to be able to be "HEARD" in order for you to listen to the words i so calmly "SPEAK"
And even tho i have a flow that will make you go "WEAK"
That's not what you care to "SEE"
I live in a neighborhood where cracks around the "BEND"
where the nike's and the jordan's hang in memories of our "FRIENDS"
where the tears have "SHED"
where the pain still lives and we bust our ass we gotta fam to get "FED"
And we walk with our heads to the sky smiling back at those who've we lost "INSTEAD"
Put flowers on the graves in memory of those who passed and we wont "FORGET"
GHETTO NAME...
A name i go by in the "STREETS"
I gotta be "HOOD" in order to lay down a few "BEATS???"
Got to have a "GHETTO NAME" to be able to be "HEARD" in order for you to listen to the words i so calmly "SPEAK"
And even tho i have a flow that will make you go "WEAK"
Thats not what you care to "SEE"
I must of missed the part where i had to have a poetical name to be "RESPECTED"
Its just a name but i have a new year "RESURECTION"
This game that's been played I've "INSPECTED"
Every dialog that's been written i have "DISECTED"
And i took a deep breath and took it all in and let it all "DIGEST"
And im not walking away this time; The pain i will no longer "NEGLECT"
GHETTO NAME...
A name i go by in the "STREETS"
I gotta be "HOOD" in order to lay down a few "BEATS???"
Got to have a "GHETTO NAME" to be able to be "HEARD" in order for you to listen to the words i so calmly "SPEAK"
And even tho i have a flow that will make you go "WEAK"
That's not what you care to "SEE
Feels So Right,What If It's Wrong
It Feels so right, But.. What if its wrong? Is this the love I've pondered, Or a fling that'll soon be gone? We chill, we joke We laugh and talk everyday But is this feeling Just a feeling That eventually fades away? Everything about this friendship Just feels so right Are we suppose to be an item, Or do we just remain tight? Nothing could ever feel as right, As Your touch, your feel, your kiss But.. Is this a moment of our everlasting time, Or is it just a moment of bliss? It feels so right, But.. So what if its wrong? Cuz me without you is like, A missing verse in my song.
I don't want to Be
I dont know What we may have or What we could be But I think I want More than you may be offering me
Not that I need a title Im sure you know how I feel But I dont want artificial What i want is something real
You take me out and spoil me Act as if you adore me I dont want to be your rebound For the one who came before me
Not that I dont trust you I just have doubts about this situation And I dont want to be disappointed Or drowned in senseless infatuation
I want us to have a good friendship Because it's u I want to be with But I dont want to be the one Who settles for the bullshit.
Not that I need a title Im sure you know how I feel But I dont want artificial What i want is something real
You take me out and spoil me Act as if you adore me I dont want to be your rebound For the one who came before me
Not that I dont trust you I just have doubts about this situation And I dont want to be disappointed Or drowned in senseless infatuation
I want us to have a good friendship Because it's u I want to be with But I dont want to be the one Who settles for the bullshit.
Monday, April 9, 2012
7 Deadly Questions
I was reading a Jaelle's blog and I seen her post about 7 questions, and she tagged everyone who read it so i say why not do it
1. If you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?
Hmmmmm that's a good question it would have to be between reading minds and seeing into the future Oh and the ability to heal anyone who was hurt. If i could read mind i would be able to know what people were thinking (Obviously) But i would be able to know what to say in conversation. Know when it was a good time to ask my boss for time off. Oh and be able to really help with peoples problems.Seeing into the future. basically when i'm unsure of something i'm about to do and want to know the out come i can just see into the future.Plus i will be able to try and prevent really bad things from happening. And the power to heal. I hate to see people suffering specially children and Elderly people.
2. If you could hold the world record for something, what would it be for and why?
That's a hard question either the inventor of the next Best hair car product for men and women with coarse,curly,kinky hair. Like a real affordable product that dose everything we want it to do , Protect,stop breakage,grows healthy strong hair, repairs damaged hair, Condition it etc, I think that will be a new break through.
3. What is the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
Crawlades < (Not sure if i spelled that right) But i thought they tasted good
4. Where would you hide something if you didn't want it to be found?
I'd hide it in a ground safe in a different country
5. What is one of your Spring and/ or Easter traditions?
Big Family Dinner and watching the 10 commandments
6. Would you rather have to make all of your own clothes (including patterns), cook dinner from scratch every night, or walk everywhere you wanted to go?
I would rather cook dinner every night from scratch i love to cook so i don't have a problem with it. Walking every where i wanted to go will cause a problem when i want to go to a different state or hell a different country I'm pretty sure i can't walk to Jamaica , and as of making all my own clothes i mean that's cool and all but i am not the best seamstress and I'm sure my clothes will come out entirely different than what i had planned
7. What is your most embarrassing moment? I know, big one.
I have embarrassing moments out the ass but there is one i live with and think about everyday . Picture it Junior year Fire alarm goes off I'm in Heels and our schools steps are made out of some kind of slippery stone. We were walking down the steps in a crowed manner. Well i was walking and talking with friends and my heel slipped on the second step and i slid all the way to the bottom. everyone saw and i was in so much pain. But i got up and started laughing so hard to try and play it off when we got out side everyone was making jokes and everything. When i got home that day i laid down on my bed and didn't move there next morning my back and my ass was hurting so bad i just didn't go to school the next day.
Thats it, and I tagged every single one of you reading this, YES YOU!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Feeling Myself
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I'm Sexy lil Vampire |
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Bad Girl Gone Naughty ;) |
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Mmmm I wanna Taste your blood |
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Your Look Good Enough To Bite |
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Weight Lost Update
I know i know it's been almost two week since my last up date but i have good knew i have lost 6.6 lbs since i started back on my diet. I have been staying motivated and i'm hoping by the end of july i will be size sexy fit in my eyes.
Like it's been said time and time again You only have one life to live and i want to be healthy all they way through.
I want to make one thing clear about that too. I'm not losing weight to look better or to change how i look. That's just a plus. I want to be healthy i want to be fit. I don't want to be a size 24 in my early 30's. And over weight people run in my family.And i don't want to be at risk for heart disease , high cholesterol , diabetes and ect, because it runs in my family. I want to live a long healthy life. I want to live to see my great great grandchildren. That's why i'm on my diet. Looking good is only a plus.
So with that begin said i will see you guys later on today.
Stay Blessed and Beautiful Ladies and Gents XO <3
SN: I got me a new camera....YAY! :)
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