Maturing

    I went through stages in my life. when i was little i had mad friends i was in the what you would call popular group i guess \(- _-)/ any who when i was in the third grade I supper glued Mrs. Blazer to a chair. and had gotten kicked off the bus for jumping this other little girl. << She had it coming she was white and called me a dirty nigga. on a bus full of black people. I wasn't just going to let that slide not one bit. Any who i ended up getting kicked out of the elementary school and had to transfer to another one.
   Roosevelt let me tell you i was so out of my element. I went from a school that was mostly Black people to a school were there was mostly white people. But i didn't have a problem with making friends. I never did. soon i became part of a group that you would consider pint size mean girls. it was like everyone wanted to be associate with us just because we traveled in a pack and matched each other. And i did things back then to hurt other peoples feelings that i didn't even mean to do. and as i look back i think wow! was it even that serious i mean for crying out loud we were 9.
    Worst thing ever happened that summer my best friend Mersadies Olivia Bakers died a tragic death. After her passing i went into depression mode and ate my feelings away. by the time 7th grade hit i weighed 190 lb wearing a size 24 standing a 5'0 tall. every day that year i dreading going to school. The girls would talk about me because i had never had a perm,  I mean relaxer. and i never had gotten a weave before because my hair was long, they yelled and called me nappy headed just because i didn't straighten my hair. i got called fat ass, no neck, and everything else. and everyday i would go home and cry my eyes. Back then the only people who helped me through everything was Isis,Jazmyn Chelseay if it wasn't for them idk what would happen but luckly 8th grade year i began to loose some of the weight and became more social than i ever was i was happy to go to school then because i knew it would be a good day.I now look back at all the girls and boys who made fun of me was either jealous that my hair was real or insecure about their own selves so they had to pick on me because i was an easy target. Back then i also let people walk all over me.
  High School hit i had lost 40 lb and wearing a size 14 and standing at 5'4 I loved what i had accomplished and i loved who i had molded myself to be. I took no shit from nobody and once i started to date one of the well known boys in school, Not an athlete or anything like that just a really attractive guy who knew everyone. and that's when shit hit the fan, bitches were coming out of every witch way calling me la weaver and saying i was fat and ugly. and i started to believe the nasty rumors until i start noticing alot of the really cute guys in school was asking for my number and wanting to date me. that when i realized i had haters. because these girls only knew my name and they talked so much shit about me. i didn't even know half of them.
  Even though it's only been a year since i was in high school i feel that i grew as a person. i'm no longer angry at the world. I don't blame anyone for the things that i do or the things i regret no doing. i stopped worrying about the What if and Maybes and started living for today, I started living for me. and that is something that i never did i always tried my best to please other people.
 One thing about me that will never change is my personality witch  is alot to take in.  If i don't like you trust you know that i don't like you. i wont be rude about it unless you take me there. I love all my friends and family unconditionally you fuck with them you fuck with me. I'm just that kind of person. I'm sweet when i want to be. I have sick sense of humor, I flirt all the time even with girls and i don't be meaning to. but some how alot of people take my mean mug as a come heather face. I'm loyal to those who have my back no mater wat. If your looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear i'm not the one i will always be honest when it comes to my opinion. One last thing i will never say something behind your back that i wouldn't say directly to your face.


             Stay Blessed and Beautiful Ladies and Gents XO <3


SN:Thank you Jae for always being there you are more than a true friend to me you my best friend your my partner and crime, my ride and hide lol  but most important your my sister my family love you girly. believe it or not your niceness and ambitiousness rubbed off on me a little